Luke+C

=WELCOME TO LUKE.C'S PAGE!!! = == =Luke.C's Cave Description=

==I'm crawling through the dark and small cave, trying to find a way out when suddenly one of the sharp pieces of rock fall from the ca a ve roof. Luckily my reaction is fast and i move out of the way just in time. The rock is like a knife piercing someones heart. As I crawl through small passages and bendy corners I come to an opening were i can stand up. Once I stand up I have a big stretch because ive been crawling for so long. While I'm stretching i hear a snoring kind of sound somewhere in the opening. When I find out two horrible things, a look of horror comes onto my face. Number 1 = the snoring sound is a bear and number 2 = the bear is blocking the only exit. After a long time i decide that im going to have to sneak past it. I start quietly creeping past the big brown bear trying to be as quiet as possible. Just as I pass the bear I yell out "yes! I made it!"forgeting that i have to be quiet. The bears eyes flash open and are as red as fire and before I know it I'm running as fast as I can to get out but to my surprise the bear doesn't run after me. Once im out of the cave I yell out "I'm free!"==

Great writing Luke I have high lighted some mistakes that I have found. you have got some good language features and maybe you could add some more of the 5 scences.